When nobody around you seems to measure up, it’s time to check your yardstick.

Ever have one of those "ah-ha" moments? I had one yesterday. I've been told that I can be very critical of people. I am quick to point out people's mistakes, whether big or small. It can be a mistake in grammar or just a general misspeak. Yesterday it really sunk in. I know I'm not the only one who does this. I found this written about people like me: Many people feel that they need to tell everyone about every little fault that they find in every situation. They feel that they're doing people favors by pointing out what they see as flaws and problems, even though they may not be in a position in which people expect them to find mistakes.

I don't know why I do it. I admit that sometimes I am compelled to do it. I need to do it. For instance, when I hear incorrect grammar, I justify the correction in my head by thinking that I'm making the person sound more educated or I'm helping maintain the correct form of the English language. But it's got to be deeper than that. Is it because I have insecurities and pointing out that I know something another person doesn't makes me feel smarter? I think that's it, but the reason doesn't matter. It has to stop.

That same article that I quoted above said this about the danger in pointing out people's mistakes: If I know that someone is going to find fault with everything that I do, I will not share with that person unless I'm truly seeking criticism. As fewer people are willing to share with us, we lose much of the richness that comes from and through that sharing, and we become more isolated, less integrated. The loss of the sharing of others is one of the greatest losses we can cause ourselves, and it may even reach a point at which people just don't want to be around us at all. Fault-finding and criticizing, no matter what our intentions, tend to drive wedges between us and other people.

Ouch. I don't want to be that person. When I had this realization yesterday, I immediately sent my husband a text message. I should've called, but I knew he was on a conference call at work and I wanted to say what was on my mind at that moment. I apologized for being too critical of him. I know I point out mistakes a lot, and as much as I don't want to hurt my co-workers and friends, I don't want to drive a wedge between him and me even more.

Mother Theresa said "If you judge people, you have no time to love them." I am such a loving person, so I'm angry that my criticism is creating a unintentional barrier to that love. I think this is going to take some serious prayer and tongue-biting. If you find that you're critical of others, I encourage you to take this challenge with me. Let's try to look at ourselves and see how we can become better, more Christ-like people. Let's pray for the grace to see others as children of God who can enrich our lives, not people whose mistakes we can fix.

Abby