One Liners

If Only Rodney Dangerfield Had Done Christian One Liners...

While I was doing my prep for the show tonight I came across a website loaded with "one liners" those classic quick jokes that Rodney Dangerfield was famous for. After the first few jokes I caught my self ending each one with "no respect...I gets no respect". The funny thing is that a few weeks ago a bunch of us at the radio station had the discussion, who was/is "The Greatest Comedian of All Time". Rodney's name came up. So in honor of who once was a great comedian, here is the list of Christian "one liners" that I found. Some are funny, made me laugh, some are not meant to be funny just make you think, but few can touch the level of Dangerfield. Enjoy!

Christian One Liners

Don't let your worries get the best of you; remember, Moses started out as a basket case.

Some people are kind, polite, and sweet-spirited until you try to sit in their pews.

Many folks want to serve God, but only as advisors.

It is easier to preach ten sermons than it is to live one.

The good Lord didn't create anything without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.

When you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.

People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road, and the back of the church.

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.

God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should you?

Some minds are like concrete thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.

I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make which one you stay home from?!

A lot of church members who are singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.

We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.

Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.

Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.

Don't put a question mark where God put a period.

Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.

Forbidden fruits create many jams.

God grades on the cross, not the curve.

God loves everyone, but probably prefers"fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!

The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

We don't change the message, the message changes us.

The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails= 4 given.

Carlos